10 Things I never said before I had kids

 The other day I said something to my son, and it got me thinking...I never would have said that before I had children.
So here it is, my list of 10 things I never said before I had children. 

1. Nipple twisting mom is not ok...
2. Where did you get that Sharpie? If its not washable it doesn't come through that door!
3. Is that Oatmeal or a bogger?
4. Please get your foot off your brother's face, I'm sure he doesn't want to smell your toes.
5. Can I just go to the bathroom ALONE!? PLEASE!!
6. I know the dog licked you first, but you don't need to lick her back!
7. Dude, for the 10th time PUT ON YOUR PANTS!
8. I'm sorry but no, you can't put your hot wheels in the microwave.
9. Why do you smell like pickles and chocolate syrup?
AND THE BEST FOR LAST..
10. No, mommies don't have penises.