Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Phrase of the day: "Mom Guilt"

It seems like lately the guilt monster has been creeping up on me. About what?
Lets see.....
Crazy work schedule
Why can I get my house sold so I can finish the other and take some stress away?
Not having physic abilities about what my 3 year old needs, 6 year old can at least tell me.
Was I too laxed in that discipline, was I too harsh?
Are the kids growing properly
Are the activities I have them involved in stimulating them enough?
Why is my 6 year old acting like a cartoon character one day and then asking to be a teenager the next?
Just wanting a break from kids, work, house, just wanting me time!

I know as a mom I am truly doing my best, and I do fall short. But does guilt really have any benefit?
NO! Guilt will not make things better, but 99.9% of the time, worse.
As you can see from the list above I can quite put my finger on EXACTLY what is making me feel most guilty. Maybe it's a combo of everything.
I read a blog by Jamee Tenzer about this very topic. Here are 3 tips she gave in order to help ease our guilt:
1) What are you feeling most guilty about? Be specific! Try to set aside some time to play that game or read that one book before bed.
2) Ask yourself if you feel guilty because you actually feel you should be doing something different or because you feel other people are judging you. This is a HUGE thing for me. Make peace with the idea that most mom's have their own "guilt's" they are dealing with and feeling judged, and are more than likely not thinking or judging you.
3) If you are feeling guilty, find an action you can take to turn the situation around. I know easier said than done. For example, Jamee said: "“I’m guilty because I’m not making dinners from scratch every night,”  can be changed to “I’m going to add one more dinner each week that I make from scratch by planning it ahead of time and asking my partner and children to pitch in and help.”

And to all the Moms out there, keep doing a fantastic job!