Summer vacation... mom wants to run away.

So I've been really terrible about keeping up my blog. I mean terrible! The truth is that I'm maxed out keeping up with the business (which consumes most of my time) , kids out for the summer, and the husband who hurt his back.

So here we are, neck deep into summer and I have yet to write anything interesting. I reached out to my friends Gina, Katie and Kristen for some ideas since my brain is roasting in my non-air conditioned office! (That's right, currently it is 87 degrees in here!)

I have to admit, my friends are a lot more creative than I am. Suggested topics were: divorce and real estate, or crazy stories you've seen or heard of, like walking in on buyers having sex in a house they don't own or something, or how to spot and unscrupulous agent (Gina) or Summer vacation, every mom wants to run away.(Katie).

Gina, I love your idea, but haven't run in to buyers having sex,(yet) and the divorce stories...too long, and not sure how to tell the story of a grown man sitting at my desk telling me his wife left him for another woman. Oh wait, look, I just did!

Ok Katie! Here ya go!

I have honestly approached summer with equal parts, delight and dread. Like I'm sure most moms do!

I love the fact I don't have to get up while it is still dark, and try to convince my children that it is in fact morning. All of this knowing that in 30 min my 9 yr old will tell me she forgot she had homework, when in fact I did ask her the night before. I love that on Saturday my kids and husband stayed asleep till 10am! That's right, you heard me, 10am! I drank coffee and played on Pinterest for 2 hours. It was heaven!!!

Then there is the dread.....My mother in law taught my son how to dial my phone number. Where I think its a great idea for kids to know phone numbers, and I know my mother in law doesn't have a malice bone in her body, he calls me 15 times a day at the least.

Jaxon: "Mom I need you to come home right now!"
Me: "Why?"
Jaxon: " I wanted to give you a hug and a kiss"
Me: "Awe, that's sweet buddy, but I'm working so I can't"
Jaxon, long pitiful sigh,....."Ok..."

Sounds sweet right? Oh don't let that fool you. The next day I thought taking him to the regional airport would be nice since he loves planes and his cousin works there. When we got in the car, and I asked him to buckle his seat belt, his reply: "I don't bow to you!". I'll just stop there and let you use your imagination about what happened next.

Please share some of you summer stories with me!

10 Things I never said before I had kids

 The other day I said something to my son, and it got me thinking...I never would have said that before I had children.
So here it is, my list of 10 things I never said before I had children. 

1. Nipple twisting mom is not ok...
2. Where did you get that Sharpie? If its not washable it doesn't come through that door!
3. Is that Oatmeal or a bogger?
4. Please get your foot off your brother's face, I'm sure he doesn't want to smell your toes.
5. Can I just go to the bathroom ALONE!? PLEASE!!
6. I know the dog licked you first, but you don't need to lick her back!
7. Dude, for the 10th time PUT ON YOUR PANTS!
8. I'm sorry but no, you can't put your hot wheels in the microwave.
9. Why do you smell like pickles and chocolate syrup?
AND THE BEST FOR LAST..
10. No, mommies don't have penises.